...When All is Said and Dunn

We all are in a hurry in our lives, whether we are newly married, working parents, or even retired. We may move at different speeds but in the end, we are all in a rush to do what we need to do in as little time as possible. It is the nature of the world we live in. You can deny it or accept it. It makes no difference to me, but it is the truth.

Most of us play by the rules. We make full stops at stop signs, we wait our turn in lines without cutting in front of those who are there before us. We wait patiently when asking for help from an overworked salesperson who is trying to answer the questions of everyone, no matter how inane the question may be. But then there are those that don’t and these are the ones who should be put on the pillory in front of the entire community to be made an example of.

What, you say, we don’t use the pillory any more. Well maybe we should. Just to refresh your memory, or in case you never knew what the pillory was, it was a device that was made of wood, had three holes in it, two for your hands and one for your neck. The guilty were locked into this device, standing up, usually in the center of town or outside of the courthouse, and depending on the severity of the crime were left there for days or weeks.

Well I have two examples of people that I feel are likely candidates for this kind of torture. Both are equal opportunists who take advantage of the worst kind of situations. The kind of people who make the best arguments for abortion and public floggings. People who represent the worst of mankind, those who take advantage of a situation that was designed to help others.

The first is anyone who would park in a handicapped parking spot who is not handicapped. I don’t care what your reason is or how much of a hurry you are in, this is a taboo that I feel should be met with swift and severe justice. These people should not be given a citation, they should be dragged from cars by the police and taken immediately to jail where they would be strip searched, washed down with a fire hose, and put in a cell with a three hundred pound guy named Bubba who has been there for a year.

The only parking scenario even worse is committed by the dregs who have somehow gotten their grubby little paws on a handicapped parking placard and are obviously not handicapped in any way other than possibly being mentally handicapped.

I am so sick of seeing people who are physically fine leaping out of their cars and running into the store after parking in a handicapped spot with the placard in full view. They act as though they have preferred parking at Dodger Stadium. I mean, if you jerks are going to try and pull this scam, at least put your acting skills to use. Give us a limp, fake some back discomfort, or at very least get a cane.

The second group is new, a group that saw an opening to profit from the misery of others and is running at it head on, I hope straight into a brick wall. This morning as I watched the news I was dumbfounded to learn that in the wake of the Firestone tire recall, there are people who are actually making a profit on the what is already a horrible situation for everyone involved.

Apparently this little gang of jolly pranksters are selling the recalled tires, that they have replaced, out the back door. They also offer up the helpful suggestion that the person return them elsewhere and get a full price replacement for them. Don’t get me wrong, I have no sympathy for Firestone. Their lack of quality control has cost people their lives. But they are being punished and will continue to be punished around the world. The courts and the legal system do not need any help from a bunch of scumbags trying to make a buck off of a very sad situation.

They even have a very special little satellite group that has found their own little niche. You see, when the recalled tires are replaced, the tire store doing the exchange is supposed to drill a hole approximately 2” in diameter in the side of the tire to render it useless. After being checked, they are supposed to be disposed of. What is being reported is that a number of these tires are being sent south of the border and are being patched and resold. Oh boy, I just gotta get me a set of those babies. Supply and demand indeed, the unscrupulous supplying the stupid.

With both of these equally distasteful groups I am not sure that the pillory is sufficient. Maybe we should look at bringing back the rack or the iron maiden. Or how about just getting me a cross and some big nails?