...When All is Said and Dunn

Most people like parties. Personally I can take them or leave them. But no one likes a party better than kids. We as parents, at one point in time, are roped into throwing one for our kids Every time we do it is a learning experience. Not necessarily a lesson I desired to learn, but I learned just the same. Class was in session on Sunday, Party 101.

You see, as the kids get older their dynamics change, as parents we are desperately trying to hold onto the memories and lessons learned at the last party. We want them to maintain their innocence and be our babies forever. Ah, but alas things change. Soon the Barney and Raffi sing-along tapes are replaced by N’Sync and Britney Spears, and so it goes.

This party was for my 11-year-old daughter Rachel and a group of her friends from school, soccer, and softball. Monica, Sarah, Ashley, Jennifer, Destinee, Nena, Christina, Jamie, Vanessa and the 3 Brianna’s, two pronounced Bri-on-a and one Bri-anna. A nicer group of girls you couldn’t ask for. They all got along great from start to finish.

Because we always attempt to make sure that our children have a good time at their parties, we feel the need to schedule every minute to make sure that they won’t get bored. My wife Stacey is great at scheduling. She masters in list making. If there is more than one topic on any given subject it must have a list. The only thing that requires more lists than our vacation is when we venture down the birthday party road.

Well, after the gang arrived out came the lists and we were on our way to party time bliss. The lists consist of the schedule of the party games, what time to order the pizza, the girl’s names, addresses, phone and social security numbers. This has been all thoroughly planned out so as to maximize the fun for the three hours that the party will last.

We had originally asked Rachel if she wound like to do kind of an Olympic theme for the party, but that met with the same excitement that the television coverage of the Olympic games got, none. She wanted to go with a 60’s theme, peace signs, tie-dye, happy faces, etc. That’s fine with me. It’s definitely something that I can relate to. The 60’s were a fun time when they were here, so why not relive them at a party.

The party was going smoothly, the games were going fine, but they didn’t seem to be taking as much time as we anticipated. Fortunately we held the party at my parents' house, which has a huge yard and, luckily for us, a game room with a pool table and a ping-pong table. When we hit a lull in the activities, I mentioned the game room to the girls and they took off en masse. If you were to look in at the party area after I let them in on that fact, you would have seen nothing but a decorated yard without any people in it. A ghost party, if you will.

After ordering the pizza I went to see if every thing was OK with the girls. As I walked in the side door of the game room, I was met with a site that was reminiscent of my youth. The music was blasting and everyone was doing something, playing pool, ping pong, singing to the music, eating chips and dancing around. In our lull in the party they had created their own party all by themselves and they were digging it. I was having a great time watching them having a great time.

After the pizza arrived we got back on schedule, going back to following the standard format, after all the games that were scheduled had prizes that needed to be won. But whenever there was another pause, they seemed to gravitate back to the game room or in a group in the yard.

It was refreshing to see such a tight knit group that was free of friction that sometimes accompanies a situation like this. All it takes is one participant with a poison personality to disrupt a perfectly happy flow. I don’t know if it is the age of the participants or Rachel’s good taste in friends. Whichever it was the outcome was great.

So another party down, new lessons learned. Maybe the next time around we can just leave them to their own devises and not make lists and schedules. Oh my God, what will Stacey do?