...When All is Said and Dunn

The holidays are behind us and we have begun work on the new millennium. The resolutions have been made and it will only be a matter of time before most are broken. The resolutions that I have chosen to make are not necessarily fresh ones. They are more of a continuation of the ones I have been doing all along. A resolution not to change, if you will.

One would be not to suffer fools gladly and to point out their follies whenever they are positioned directly in front of me. I may not be able to change a person’s behavior, but I can at least expose them so that other people can be aware of their mindless quirks and behavior. I do this as a public service, not only here, but verbally as well whenever possible. Sometimes the latter is more effective because of the immediacy of the response and the proof is right there in front of your eyes.

It has no effect on some of the denser portions of the population. Like the individual who thinks that by laughing at everything nonstop that their moronic behavior will go unnoticed. They act and play the fool to the rest of us in hopes that the laughter will somehow convince us that they are cute or harmless. In reality, the laughter is nothing more than a ruse to disguise the fact that they have the mental capacity of a brick.

Another would be not to take anything or anyone at face value. Just because something looks good does not necessarily mean it is good. It’s going to take a little more than an esthetic appeal and the endorsement of one person to convince me. The same would apply to people that I meet. Just because I may get along with you does not mean that I will like or feel the same about someone you introduce me to.

There have been too many times that I have been introduced to someone that was raved about by a friend or acquaintance of mine. After a few meetings I end up realizing that the person is either a racist, bigot, homophobic, or someone who couldn’t put together a logical or intelligent thought if their life depended on it. All of the aforementioned people are morons that I would not want to spend one second with. Nor would I want my family subjected to them.

I further resolve not to discuss anything with anybody for over a minute that is a moot point. It is a complete waste of everybody’s time and is absolutely pointless. Why even bring up the point if there is nothing you can do about it? The only thing it achieves is creating an aura of bad feelings and animosity. I will listen once, begrudgingly, if you feel that you must say something. But if you start to drag it out with too many “what ifs,” be prepared to see my back. If it is something that can’t be changed, move on and talk about something either positive or enlightening. Don’t dwell on things that can’t be changed or what would have happened if they did.

I also vow to do fewer favors for people in the future. It has become glowingly aware to me that the more favors I do for people that one of two things happen. Either they begin to take advantage of my generosity and the favors cease to be favors and they begin to be expected. And the other is once I have done the favor, if there is the slightest hiccup in the plan, I become the sacrificial lamb. Everyone else who may have became a part of it after the fact turns to jelly. I am left to blame and all sight of the fact that it was a favor in the first place is lost.

I will also continue to make snide remarks to any grocery store bagger that is abusive towards my purchases. In particular, Bahzed at Valu-Mart, who seems to have learned his bagging skills from a Michelob beer commercial. It doesn’t make any difference that some baggers have limited English skills. I will continue to make snide remarks until they understand that I would like to get my groceries home in as close to the condition of how I took them off the shelf as possible. This will not happen until they come to terms with the reality that bread and eggs are not made out of steel.

Finally, I resolve not to make any resolutions that I don’t plan to keep.