...When All is Said and Dunn

A few years ago I brought up an assumption that the majority of drivers in this area that were driving as though they were in a bumper car ride at a carnival were probably unlicensed drivers. I also suggested that most, if not all, of these unlicensed drivers were not even citizens of the United States and quite likely were illegally in this country.

In typical political speed and fashion, someone in Sacramento has come to the same conclusion. Although I don’t agree with their ideas about how to resolve the problem, it’s always gratifying to know that my first impression is probably the right one.

After spending what I’m sure was hundreds of thousands of dollars to study a problem that you would have to be blind not to see, the lawmakers in Sacramento have come to what they feel is the best way to deal with this. Their solution? Make it easier for aliens to get a driver’s license. Oh, what a great idea.

Obviously none of these lawmakers have ever had to drive through the San Gabriel Valley in the morning when you are trying to go to work or take your kids to school. If they had, I think they would be rethinking their decision. Actually I should rephrase that; make it drive anytime in the San Gabriel Valley, because there is no time during waking hours that is a good time.

I think that before any of these guys vote on any legislation, there should be one condition. They should be put in a car with a stick shift and forced to drive through the cities of San Gabriel, Alhambra, Monterey Park, and Temple City for a week. I would like to see how they feel about making it easier to get a driver’s license after that. That is, if they survive.

The study also came to the conclusion that these aliens were driving cars that were in bad shape or in bad working order, thus posing further danger to the other drivers on the road. Again, I disagree with that assessment. The majority of drivers that I see that can’t seem to manipulate their vehicles are usually driving a newly-leased Mercedes.

How they were able to get the lease is a mystery to me. Unless, of course, they had one of the 30 people who are living in the same house they are living in show their license and sign the lease. I guess that would work. That individual would also have to drive the car off the lot as well. Otherwise the car dealer would freak out when he saw the driving skills of the person who was really going to be driving the car.

They are so completely oblivious as to how to operate their vehicles and the laws of the road that every time they get behind the wheel they pose a danger to everyone around them. Watching some of these people attempt to drive is probably like watching a caveman with fire for the first time. Both have equally serious consequences to everyone nearby.

I already think it is too damn easy for most of them to get a driver’s license. As it stands, the DMV gives driver’s tests and literature in almost every conceivable language. All they have to do is read the material, take the test, and prove they are here legally. Never mind that all of the traffic signs are in English.

Making it easier for someone who is already in this country legally is not where the problem lies. It lies with the ones who are not. These are the last ones who made it out of the cargo freighter in Long Beach undetected after their sea cruise. The thousands who are here to take jobs and overcrowd our schools from the people who are here legally.

I have a suggestion that will kill two birds with one stone. Driver’s license checkpoints. Just like they do on St. Patrick’s Day with sobriety checkpoints, except this one would be targeting getting unlicensed drivers off the streets. Picking up any undocumented aliens would just be a happy little bonus.

The only stipulation the ACLU has placed on the use of said checkpoints is that prior to setting one up, the authorities notify the public of its presence. No problema, just print it or announce it in English and it’s a done deal. Just park an INS bus right next to the checkpoint and load it up and ship it out.

I would start with an experimental site like Monterey Park. I would set up multiple checkpoints at all of the main arteries of the city and let the games begin. Do it every day for about a month and I am sure you would get some results.

There is an upside. When we snatch up the illegal driving aliens we can also confiscate their vehicles and sell them at auction. Also, just think of all the fines we could collect from the people who are driving on a revoked or restricted license. We are talking big bucks to the state here folks. Possibly even enough money to help bail out our power companies, which I am absolutely sure would benefit from the reduced number of customers in the area. I think we could probably do that by targeting Alhambra alone. We will never know until we try.

So the next time you guys in Sacramento want to do a study on a perceived problem, do yourself a favor and read my article first. If you like what you see, just cut me a check for 10% of what you are willing to spend on an extended study and take the idea and run with it. It will save us all a lot of time and money.

The Shrub Speaks: The Senate needs to leave enough money in the proposed budget to not only reduce all marginal rates, but to eliminate the death tax, so that people who build up assets are able to transfer them from one generation to the next, regardless of a person's race." —Washington, D.C., April 5, 2001