...When All is Said and Dunn

Many times in the last 3 years I have pointed out certain negative aspects of everyday life in and around our community. I do this more as an observer who sees something and is compelled to write about it. Consider it a public service of sorts.

Usually at the end of my more venomous tirades I try to point out either a way to change it or a way to deal with it. Whether the suggestions are heartfelt or tongue in cheek, at least I try to end on a positive note. It doesn’t matter if you agree with me or not, which is why the editor of this paper likes me. He knows whatever feedback comes along I won’t give a damn. My general two-word response to most criticism is not printable in this paper.

I don’t know if it is something in the water or if it is in the DNA makeup of some individuals, but I am running into more and more people who are not content unless they are being negative about EVERYTHING! There has to be at least something that pleases someone occasionally, but the people I am referring to seem to be in a constant state of having hemorrhoid flair up.

Unless you are one of these individuals, you know the ones I am talking about. It doesn’t matter how minor the topic may be or how minor your observation is, these type of people will never agree with the opinions you have, simply because it is not the opinion they have, and boy, they are the first to let you know. They are not happy unless they make you feel, like the 70’s comic troupe The Firesign Theatre once said, everything you know is wrong.

Remember that movie that you just spent 30 bucks to see on Friday night and thoroughly enjoyed? It makes no difference if they have seen the movie or not, in their opinion it sucked. What is the basis for their opinion? Sometimes it’s the half of a review they read in People Magazine or even worse, the half of the verbal review they heard on Ebert & Roper At The Movies while making dinner on Sunday night. Or maybe it sucks just because you liked it.

Television, oh don’t even go there, it’s just too easy for them. If you get them started they never stop, the airwaves are far too vast. They begin to feed like a school of piranhas on a side of beef. Any show that you may bring up they will have a problem with it. Your best bet is to somehow trick them into telling you what shows they find acceptable. The problem there is that these people don’t like anything and are much happier complaining about things than they are with praising something.

The shows that I find are the best ones to avoid mentioning are any shows that remotely vary from the norm. Anything that is even a tad innovative or varies even slightly from the formulistic boredom that has been repeated for years is scorned.

Don’t even bring up “The X Files”, “The Sopranos”, “Dark Angel” or “The Drew Carey Show” especially if you like them. If you attempt to express any fondness for them, you are in for a long night. It’s best just to not say anything and move on. Why? Because 9 times out of 10 they have never watched the show. Or they have watched maybe one episode or a part of an episode on which they have developed their misinformed opinion. As anyone who knows anything about television viewing knows, it takes more than one taste to get the true flavor.

Speaking of taste, food is another of their favorite topics to be negative about. If you happen to like a particular food, there must be something wrong with your taste buds or your mind. If you buy low fat, they say it should be non-fat. If you buy non-fat, then it should be sugar-free. If you buy ice cream, it should be sherbet, sourdough bread should be wheat bread, and on and on it goes. I’m sure you all know someone just like this who feels it is their place to tell you why all your food choices are wrong.

The worst arena to enter with theses psyche attacking gladiators is literature or reading. Believe me when I say this is the one area I know about. I get a lot of feedback in this area and I believe my editor will support me on this. If there is one place I see unjustifiable negativity coming from, it is from the words I put to paper every week.

I don’t know if it is because they failed miserably in reading comprehension in school or if it is because the mean streak that runs through them requires that they seek out negativity even where there is none. Whether they understand what I am writing about or not, they feel compelled to either verbally or in writing try to put their special brand of negative slant on it.

It is maddening at times because even when I try to write something heartfelt and positive, which if you read this column with any regularity you know how few and far between those articles are, they want to tear it apart by focusing on one line or phrase. This is called selective reading.

Don’t think that their constant negativity is lost on kids. When a person is negative all the time, everyone around them, including kids, pick up on it. When I hear about or see a child that is excited about something and then see one of these negativity vacuums suck all the joy out of their moment of happiness, it literally makes me ill. And you know these folks are turning their kids into the next generation of negativity monsters.
It is one thing not to agree with other people’s opinions, but the majority of us don’t appreciate the constant negativity. You may not realize it, but your constant bombardment makes us feel like we are at Pearl Harbor and all we want to do is duck for cover. Being told that everything that we enjoy or appreciate is wrong in your eyes can be irritating at best.

Our choices may not all be right, but they are at least our own. By not occasionally saying something positive your presence becomes persona non-gratis.

The Shrub Speaks: “For every fatal shooting there were roughly three non-fatal shootings. And folks, this is unacceptable in America. It’s just unacceptable. And we’re going to do something about it.”
Philadelphia, May 14, 2001