...When All is Said and Dunn

In another one of their series of studies on driving, that American icon of driving, The Automobile Club of America, has come up with another one. This time their focus was on the relationship between how children are affected by their parents’ driving habits.

I really don’t think that this required any great amount of study, only common sense. Of course, when there is money to be spent, you can count on places like the Auto Club or the government to spend it no matter how frivolous the study may be.

The major revelation that this study produced was that children, once they reach driving age, tend to mimic their parents’ driving habits. Well, duh of course they do. Our kids are like sponges. They absorb, consciously or not, everything we do. Sometimes they pick up on the good, but unfortunately it seems they hone in on more of our bad traits.

Most parents are very aware of this fact and take steps to minimize the bad. Others, the ones who exhibit no control in whatever they do and what they subject their children to, are the ones who are raising kids who most of us will dread being around in the future. They will most likely be the ones we won’t want anywhere near us as we are driving as well.

The kids being raised without restraint will most likely turn into tailgaters, road-ragers, and those drivers who can only express themselves with finger gestures. Those very special few that make driving a frightening experience when they are not medicated. We will refer to them as “Group 1.”

Then there are those who just can’t drive. We will call them “Group 2.” They are usually the ones who are soliciting the ire of the people in Group 1. If Group 1 is a result of their parent’s inability to control themselves, I would have to assume Group 2 is the result of their parents not being taught how to drive properly in the first place.

I generally don’t worry about Group 1 since I know how to drive without pissing off other drivers. I drive the speed limit, use my turn indicators, and try not to cut off anybody. If I do, I acknowledge my mistake to my fellow traveler and apologize. I mean it’s only good form to do so. I worry more about what Group 2 is up to because they are so damn unpredictable.

They are the ones going 20 miles an hour in a 40 mile an hour zone, when all of a sudden they decide to make a right hand turn from the left lane while you are in the right lane behind them. As you lay into your horn to make them aware of their diminished mental capacity they still don’t acknowledge your existence.

I don’t know who taught them how to drive and who their influences are but this would make up the basis for a far more compelling study. They should conduct a survey of drivers in the West San Gabriel Valley to see if they were actually taught to drive by a driving school or if unlicensed Uncle Joe taught them how to drive in the parking lot of a mall.

Better still, how about a study to determine how many drivers are out there who don’t even have a license. This would be something that would benefit the public at large. They could begin that study right here in the West San Gabriel Valley.

My suggestion to the AAA is the next time you feel like burning up some extra cash on a survey, at least do a survey on something that matters, not something that anyone with an ounce of common sense can figure out.

The Shrub Speaks: “It is white.” - (When asked what the White House is like by a student at Morningside Primary School in East London) --7/23/01