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Yi Carumba! I get so confused about what I am supposed to do, eat, wear, watch or breathe. What is good for my mental and physical health? Carbs or protein? Aerobics versus walking? I hear or read one thing found in one study and a week later I hear the exact opposite in another study.
This is because, despite a shortage of jobs in many industries, one industry seems to be flourishing. That would be that of researchers and scientists, at least I am assuming some of them are scientists.
The way most of these studies are presented to us you would think every one of them was conducted by the A.M.A. (American Medical Association). How often do they actually tell you on the news what group actually conducted the all knowing study? For all we know they are just some average Joe or research mercenaries who are conducting some of these studies. How many of these studies are funded by the same industry that is trying to promote their products?
With as many of these things being thrown at us on what seems to be a daily basis there must be some easy way to get a grant to pursue whatever you want to investigate or study. I’m sure that if Noel at the corner Shell station applied for a grant to find out what kind of landscaping foliage was better to plant around a gas station, so he could be more politically correct than the Union 76 station across the street, there would be some lunatic group or agency who would be willing to pony up $100,000 for him to do a study on it.
Yesterday I was under the impression that eating the french fries at most fast food burger joints would cause cancer due to the oil they used. Today I am told that it not only won’t give me cancer it may even be good for me on some levels. So which is it? I guess I will have to wait until the next survey comes out.
It’s almost like there is a constant battle going on between the forces of good and evil, the Force and the Dark Side. If you watch closely you will notice that after a negative report comes out on any particular item, it is usually followed by a positive spin on the same topic. Like I mentioned earlier, who is actually funding these studies? Because within a short amount of time after the negative report, comes the counter attack, like with the French fries. Then you are forced to choose which story sounds best to you, or works better with your lifestyle. Personally I ran right out and bought a super size order of fries.
The alcohol wars have been really bizarre and have been going on for a decade. Ten years ago we were told that drinking was bad for you and should be avoided, period. Years later a break through study suggested that a drink a night would not be such a bad thing, that it might even have some benefits. Then out of the blue, a couple of months ago, came the bombshell that multiple drinks a night was a good thing for your heart because it acts as a blood thinner. Thinner blood means fewer heart attacks. So drink up.
Then came the one that hit really close to home, the sleep study. Previous studies showed that not enough sleep was detrimental to your health on many levels. This new study says that if you get too much sleep, over 8 hours, that it greatly reduces your life span. That people who get 9 to 10 hours of sleep a night increase the likelihood of reducing their life span similar to someone suffering from obesity.
We have been told for years that you NEED 8 hours of sleep now 5, 6 or 7 are the optimum numbers. I don’t know about you but I love to sleep. When I can get away with it, on a free Saturday or Sunday, I will far exceed my daily allotment of sleep and dig it. So do I need to alternate my sleep patterns to make up for those few magic mornings when I get to sleep in?
There is a study that I have been conducting for a few years now and here are the results. Ignore the studies and do what works for you. There are only so many people they can survey and everyone is not the same. I am also not a lab rat, and keep in mind that any creature, if feed anything in massive doses, will get cancer or have a heart attack.
So have a few drinks, eat some Burger King fries, and sleep as long as you can get away with tomorrow. You may have to depending on how many drinks you decide to have.
It’s Back! While I gave George “Dubya” Bush a break for a while he has given us such verbal “jewels” that they really need to be hoisted up for us all to appreciate them. So for your reading pleasure and amusement here it is…
“THE SHRUB SPEAKS”
“The War on terror involves Saddam Hussein because of the nature of Saddam Hussein, the history of Saddam Hussein and his willingness to terrorize himself.” January 29, 2003
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