|
It is a genetic flaw in the make up of the 21st century male. It is not something we men can control, but we all fall victim to it from time to time. We do it without thinking and without pre-meditation; it’s just a guy thing. By doing it we can cause pain and suffering for our families, but we are weak and can’t help ourselves.
The pain can be seen on the faces of your loved ones when it happens and depending on the individuals involved, heated arguments and yelling can follow.
I am of course referring to channel surfing.
While everything in the house may belong to your wife and kids, the TV remote control belongs to dad and most of the time we won’t let it go without a fight. We hold on to it like it was the last life preserver on the Titanic. For what reason? I don’t know, maybe it’s a security thing. All I know is, if that television is on and I am in the room, if the remote control is not in my hand, it has to be damn close or I start to get edgy.
Nowadays the landscape of television has changed, especially on the broadcast side of things. You know, the stations you don’t need a cable box or satellite dish to view. In their ongoing efforts to compete with the cable and satellite channels, the broadcast stations have been pushing the envelope further and further. It’s to the point where you can scorch your eyeballs with some of the disgusting stuff they are showing.
You can chalk this up in part to the new generation of reality shows that are out there. The rest is just unpleasant surprises. Like stumbling on an interview with Kathie Lee Gifford, Rosie O’Donnell or Celine Dion, none of which should ever be allowed to be seen on TV without some kind of special warning or rating. In fact, there should be a special blocking device that you can activate, like the parental control block, that comes standard on all TV sets to prevent their voices and images from being received.
The reality part of the equation is still a mystery to me in that it has lasted this long. I took it as a positive sign when Sally Jesse Raphael was cancelled and I was hoping that the rest of her talk show parasite cohorts would fall like dominos. Unfortunately that has not been the case, but they are losing their allure. Well, everywhere except for the trailer parks where most of their shows participants reside.
In their place we have a continual morphing of reality game type shows that with each new incarnation becomes more tasteless. Mr. Personality, Survivor, The Fifth Wheel, Elimindate, and The Bachelor all are peddlers in the display of the worst types of human behavior.
These shows all expect their “players” to practice and participate in deception, backstabbing, and every other underhanded tactic they can use in order to win the game. If I wanted to see that type of behavior I would get another office job or volunteer to be a player agent in little league.
All of the shows that I just mentioned have lead us to the wholesale insanity that is far and away the most tasteless of the bunch, Fear Factor. Which brings us back, full circle to the channel surfing aspect and the current dangers therein.
When I am exercising my God given right as a male of the species to surf the 500 channels at my disposal, I expect to land briefly on things I don’t want to see. One click of the remote and I’m gone, but every time I pass by KNBC Channel 4 it never fails that I land just as somebody is chowing down on a sheep’s eyeball or eating a giant cockroach.
I don’t know about you, but that kind of visual sticks with me despite the fact that it is gone. Not even the fastest finger in the west could get off the channel before the deed is done.
Now that the NBA Finals are on, of course on NBC, it isn’t even a matter of changing the channel fast enough. You have to be on a constant vigil. If you’re not, you could look up or walk back in the room and see someone eating a pig’s rectum or a duck’s fetus.
If you think I am kidding or exaggerating about these culinary choices, I’m not. Every one of these has actually been eaten on the show and are shown in commercials on a regular basis. Considering that using foul language and nudity are forbidden on our airwaves, why is something this visually disturbing and nauseating allowed?
My advice, be careful fellow surfers, there are sharks in the water and who knows what they will eat next.
|
