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As the clock ticks closer to the holidays, and we all scramble to get our shopping done, we find ourselves out and about more than we do at any other time during the year. Most of us have become more homebodies of late, choosing to stick closer to home. But when the holidays come rushing at us, we have no choice.
Well, let me rephrase that, we do have a choice. You could try shopping exclusively on the Internet. But there are some things that either you can’t get or make no sense to buy there. In order to get the job done we have to put on our patience hat and brave the cruel world that is retail, and because time is of the essence the restaurant world as well.
The malls have long since married the two as a way to make you not want to leave until you are out of money, time, or patience. For people like me who hate going to the mall at anytime during the rest of the year, the thought of going during this peak season is horrifying.
The biggest downer in this whole equation is the waiting. Although living in Temple City I should be used to waiting, because every project the City seems to undertake seems to take forever. We, the citizens, were told that we would be getting an Applebee’s restaurant in the Temple City Market Place six months ago and I have been watching for any signs of progress ever since, and I haven’t seen any.
It’s not as though they had to build the structure or figure out what the motif of the restaurant was going to be. It is a chain eatery that is moving into an existing space, what’s the hold up? It’s not that I’m
dying to eat there; basically Applebee’s is just a step up from Denny’s, which is only a block away from the Applebee’s site.
It hopefully will a) provide much needed tax revenue for the city and b) maybe stop the powers that be from fixating on the ends of the downtown area and put the focus where it needs to be -- in the middle of the downtown area. We all have been waiting for that to happen for at least 15 years. But the lack of vision or the refusal to think outside the box has turned waiting into a part of life in Temple City. Maybe we should rename the city Waiting, but then we would probably have to wait for that.
When we grow tired of waiting here in our homes, especially during this time of year, we can go waste our time with everyone else doing what we all do more than shopping or eating. That would be waiting in lines.
We have all become so accustomed to it that when we are doing it we seen to go into some zombie-like state as we inch our way to the check out. By the time we reach our destination we would pay anything they asked to get out of that line.
Make no mistake though. While we are in that line our little bit of space is ours and until we reach the end of our journey you’d better not try to invade it. This was dramatically illustrated on the day after Thanksgiving when a woman tried to cut in a line of shoppers who had been waiting for a store to open for hours. When she tried to make a break for the front of the line, two women physically restrained her. These women are heroes in my book as is anyone who stands up to these interlopers.
This is not to say that if I see someone in line behind me that has only one item to purchase that I will not offer to let them go ahead of me. I do and I do it often. I hope that my karma will pay off in the future if I am in that same situation. The bad little side effect that I have been seeing lately by doing this charitable act is we are breeding a group of people who expect you to do it every time they have anything less than ten items.
You know what I mean, don’t you? As you are reaching the conveyor belt, you see out of the corner of your eye, someone who has three items in their hands come rushing up to each check stand. They stand looking like someone who has to go to the bathroom really bad, manically trying to get your attention before the checker starts scanning your items.
I’m sorry, but the potty dance doesn’t work for me, in fact it just annoys me. If you are in a rush and really need to go ahead, try just asking me. Chances are I’ll let you go. But if you don’t know how to speak English, don’t bother with the pantomime approach, I don’t care if you’re Marcel friggin Marceau, it won’t work.
I think a lot of this line waiting anxiety comes from the stores themselves. Nothing makes me and other shoppers crazier than to be standing in a line with 20 other people with one check stand being open. Nowhere is it better displayed than in any chain drug store.
I swear that there are managers behind those one-way mirrors laughing their asses off while watching you squirm as you stand in line. It’s almost like you are on some sort of prank reality show when you go in to Sav-On. There are five check stands, six if you count the photo department. Even when they are at their busiest, there is never more than two open. What the hell are they there for, decoration?
Over at Costco in Alhambra, they just expanded their check out section by double, which means there are at least 20 checkouts. I asked one of the front-end managers if they were all operational and he said yes. So I asked him why only half were open when there were at least 20 people in each line? He couldn’t answer me; all he did was look at me with a look that said this is the way it’s supposed to be and what was the problem?
If they don’t have enough employees to man the check stands they must not be looking very hard. If I’m not mistaken there are about 60,000 grocery employees out of work that could use a new job, if not now, I’m thinking soon.
You see, if you are looking for a cure for the waiting in line blues, I’ve got it for you. Just start shopping at Albertson’s or Von’s because it is the way shopping should be. Free of lines and manned by people who act as though they want to be there. Now that the Sheriffs have been called in to control the lunatic strikers at Albertson’s, it has become a line hater’s paradise.
Imagine if you will a store free of lines where you can shop without seeing another shopper when you walk down an aisle. A place where you can shop without being interrupted by a line of people crossing in front of you while you are trying to pick out a can of soup. It’s Nirvana.
So, during this holiday season, if you need a break from the lines that have cropped up in other stores, check out Albertson’s and Von’s while they are still there. Who knows when or if you will be able to experience this phenomenon again?
Shopping the way it should be.
The Shrub Speaks: Today, the unemployment rate dropped, as you may know, from 6% to 5.9%. Halethorpe, Maryland, December 5, 2003,
B.D’s response: Dubya, you’re doing a fine job. The unemployed are throwing a party for you right now.
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