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Well, are we having some fun now? With the things that are going on in this world, particularly here in the good old USA, you would think that our world had been knocked off of its axis and we have spun into an evil parallel universe.
As we watch our gas prices go through the roof, see at least one car chase a day on the news, interlaced with multiple stories of pointless deaths of innocents, it makes our daily existence one that is full of fear and angst. We all claim to want to live in peace and harmony, but there are those people out there who seem to be hell bent on making sure that doesn’t happen, for whatever selfish reasons they may have.
One long maligned group seeking this type of happiness has seen a glimmer of hope recently in achieving the same rights that the rest of us take for granted. The gay and lesbian community has long sought to gain the same rights as heterosexual couples enjoy. In San Francisco last week, against state law, the mayor opened the lid of Pandora’s Box and gave the OK for same sex marriages to be performed.
Not since the Gold Rush has there been such an exodus to a single given spot in California. Droves of same sex couples descended on the San Francisco courthouse and were getting married faster than it takes to get a burger at McDonalds. Whether or not their marriages hold up over time will depend on the courts. For the time being they are wed, and until someone tells them otherwise, can get the same benefits as any other married couple.
The average American has the view that the Gay community is made up of individuals whose lifestyles are promiscuous, unstable, and do nothing but party. Anyone who has ever spent any time with someone who is gay knows this is not true. There are just as many gays out there who are responsible, upstanding citizens as there are those that fit that less flattering stereotype. Not all gays don costumes and march in the Gay Pride Parades or hang out in bathhouses. Those perceptions are usually reserved for the young, but just as with a heterosexual, you don’t stay young forever.
Great strides have been made in changing this perception that the straight community has of the gay lifestyle through more tolerant views. Some even coming via TV shows like Ellen and more recently Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. As with anything, the more you know about it the more comfortable you become.
I, for one, have never been homophobic having known people who were gay from as early on as my freshman year of high school. Being involved with the drama and music departments, there were gays who confided in me after we became friends. Why did they confide in me? I don’t know.
Maybe it was because I have never been one to be easily shocked. Instead of recoiling in disgust as most people my age in the 70’s did, I just took it in stride. I asked questions and was curious as to why they were the way they were. It was not that they just woke up one day and said, “Gee I think I will be gay from now on.” All knew from an early age that they were gay. That was who they were; it was as much a part of their DNA make-up as the color of their eyes.
When they let me into their inner circle I was treated as their token straight one. I didn’t pass judgment on them and accepted them for who they were. Over and above that, they all turned out to be some of the best and most loyal friends I have ever had. Unfortunately, through time, geography, and AIDS, most are gone now and I miss them.
The one thing I can tell you is that as I watched them age, the ones who were in relationships were as monogamous, if not more so, than most straight couples I knew. The ones who owned their own businesses liked what they heard from the Grand Old Party and switched from being Democrats to Republicans. They, like everyone my age, mellowed and began taking life more seriously. Partying either became a thing of the past or took on a much more subdued feel. As the years progressed, I watched as all of the typical gay stereotypes flew out the window.
For the ones I knew that became Republicans, if they were still with us, would be highly disappointed in George W’s remarks this week about amending the constitution to ban same sex marriages. All his comments will do is further divide a country this needs no further division.
In listening to him, I am not fully convinced that his proposal is his only motive in suggesting it. With the election coming up, he and his handlers may just be looking for a way to divert attention away from the war in Iraq, or his lack of movement on a nationalized health care plan, which is what the candidates should be talking about.
The bottom line here is this: there are and will always be same sex couples and they are no less a couple than a man and a woman and they should be allowed to share in the same tax and health care benefits. If it is the word marriage that is the sticking point, then call it a civil union as long as it carries the same benefits, tax breaks, and weight as the word marriage does. Who cares how it’s spelled as long as it means the same thing.
The one thing that both unions have in common is that they are based on love and love is hard to find no matter if you’re gay or straight.
The Shrub Speaks: Marriage ought to be defined by the people, not by the courts. Washington D.C., Feb. 18, 2004.
B.D.’s Response: Not the courts, and not the President of the United States.
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