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Andy Warhol must be rolling over in his grave. His prophecy of “Everybody in the future will be famous for fifteen minutes” keeps coming true. With all of the venues available to those with the deep seeded need for notoriety and fame, Andy’s words have become as prolific as Nostradamus.
With the current glut of reality shows it’s easy to do if you are not afraid to look the fool. Just get up there in front of that massive TV audience and regardless of your personality or talent you stand a good chance of developing a following. Some might say that any following is a good following, but I can only assume that the people who are the audience for these no-talents must have very empty lives. Most of these “instant celebrities” are people that we would never even give a second look or listen to due to their mediocre talent or personalities.
Something that is recently happening I find particularly disturbing is the faux fame of William Hung. I can hear many of you saying who the hell is William Hung? You would be the ones who have not been watching American Idol since the beginning or have not been watching any of the sensationalistic entertainment news programs that are on the air multiple times a day. Actually, maybe you are better off when it comes to this instance.
The masses were first introduced to Mr. Hung during the audition rounds of American Idol. His performance, singing a cover of Ricky Martin’s “She Bangs” was so awful that the three judges were laughing hysterically as was my entire family. When he finally was asked to stop, Judge Simon Cowell said what we all had just witnessed, “You can’t sing and you can’t dance.” Mr. Hung’s response was “I have had no professional training whatsoever.” Well that was pretty evident. I thought the show American Idol did of the “worst of” auditions was the last I would ever have to see this goofball again. Boy was I wrong.
For some bizarre reason people were drawn to this unattractive and talentless buffoon and were clamoring to hear him butcher “She Bangs” along with any other song he was willing to attempt to sing. I am assuming these are the same people who slow down for car accidents or get their kicks looking at autopsy photos. Then record producer Dee Sonaram smelling blood in the water, and obviously looking to make a quick buck, signed him to a record deal. Huh? There are musicians who have trained their entire lives and are a million times more talented than William Hung and don’t have a record deal, how is that right?
Then word came out that along with the CD there would be a DVD on “A Day in the Life of William Hung” not to mention the music video of “She Bangs.” All of this will be heading your way soon; the release date is April 6th. Oh I can hardly wait, because that means even more people will be interviewing him. And the only thing worse than listening to him sing is listening to him speak. A word of advice: I would hold off on spending $12.99 for the CD, I am relatively sure you will be able to find it at the 99 cent store real soon.
Oh, let’s not forget the multiple web sites dedicated to him as well. As every music artist knows, merchandising is where the real money is made. You can buy buttons and t-shirts emblazoned with Hung’s face on them. I did mention earlier that this guy is unattractive didn’t I? Well for those of you who haven’t seen this Adonis yet let me give you a brief description. His head is shaped like an egg and he has about as much hair as one. He is cross-eyed and has a mouth full of the most crooked teeth I have ever seen. Yeah that’s a picture I want to wear out in public. Hell, I wouldn’t want to wear it around the house for fear of coming across a mirror.
But young Mr. Hung, he’s only 21, is cashing in big time. It’s probably a good thing since he is going to need that money for when the bubble finally bursts and he has to pay for years of therapy. Because after listening to him in numerous interviews the one person who doesn’t know that this whole thing is a joke is Hung. He appears to be believing his own press and can’t see that people are laughing at him, not with him.
I think that is one of the things that is bothering me the most. He’s like the kid in class that is not popular in any way, shape, or form and the kids who are constantly tormenting him have finally found a way to make him the butt of the joke by letting him think he’s popular. Remember what happened in Stephen King’s “Carrie?” Carrie took out everybody at the Prom, the guilty along with the innocent, when she discovered she was betrayed.
Not that William Hung has telekinetic powers or would take it out on his “handlers,” but how would you react after finding out you were nothing more than this year’s pet rock?
The Shrub Speaks: You can't see what you think is a threat and hope it goes away. You used to could when the oceans protected us, but the lesson of September the 11th is, is when the President sees a threat, we must deal with it before it -- before it comes to fruition through death on our own soils, for example.
(Albuquerque, New Mexico, Mar. 26, 2004)
B.D.’s Response: Used to could????
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