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My son, Alex, came home with one of those homework work sheets with a series of questions on it. This one was pertaining to modern technology and what it would be like if things like computers, cell phones, cable TV,
DVDs, CDs and Walkmans didn’t exist. My immediate response was that it would be exactly what my childhood back in the 60’s and 70’s was like.
It is hard to imagine our lives now without all of our current technological buddies attached to us at all times at the ready. Many of them have become such a mandatory part of our day-to-day existence, that if the systems that carry cell phones, cable/satellite TV, or the internet went out, there would be mass hysteria.
In the case of cable TV, many of us have developed such an intense relationship with the programs found there, that should they suddenly be missing from our lives, we would feel as though we had lost a loved one.
I know there are many people out there who still refuse to order cable TV services, if not due to the costs involved, it’s out of fear of getting addicted to the programs like the rest of us. The old adage of “you can’t miss what you never had” applies here. But despite what those individuals may say, or the reasons they give, they are only putting themselves in the position of getting that “you don’t get cable?” look from those of us who do, because we know what they’re missing.
In its defense, I have to say you are not only missing out on entertainment, you are missing out on information. I, being an information junkie, can get my fill, 24/7, of all the news my little pea mind can handle. With the astounding number of news stations available on cable, I can, at anytime of the day or night, get my fix of news.
As for the other members of my family, my dad, who is hopelessly hooked on sports, wouldn’t know what to do with himself without ESPN 1 & 2 and Fox Sports Net 1 & 2. During March Madness if there was a TV made that had more than one picture in a picture option, say one where he could watch six games at once, I’m sure he would own it so he wouldn’t miss a single game.
Then there’s my wife, Stacey, who is addicted, and I mean addicted, to improvement shows. The reason I didn’t use the word “home” there is because in addition to shows like Trading Spaces, In A Fix, While You Were Out, Clean Sweep, Design on a Dime, Curb Appeal, Landscapers’ and Designers’ Challenge, you also have to include shows like House Hunters and Queer Eye For The Straight Guy (whew!). Some of which if it’s not watched when aired must be recorded for future viewing. She would have a compete meltdown if our cable went out and I would pity the poor cable company employee unfortunate enough to answer that call if that was to happen.
What my wife and I do share is a love of shows that are only available on HBO. HBO has, far and away, the best shows on television. Even more than my news consumption needs and my wife’s improvement show addiction, if we didn’t get our weekly injection of shows like The Sopranos, Six Feet Under, and Deadwood you could box me up and send me to rehab until I did. Call me weak, but I know what my system needs and with these shows airing on Sundays it gives me a renewed hope in entertainment on television as the new week begins.
Then there are cell phones. Well, where do I begin? I guess with the positives. At this point in time, there are more people out there with cell phones than cable. Nowadays if you are out of your house a lot you really need to have one. It is no longer a prestige issue it is a safety and convenience issue.
It can solve so many problems that used to rise up in the past when there was no way to communicate with business and family. They have been a benefit to many. I believe that every family should have at least one if for no other reason than safety and to use it only when needed, such as checking on the kids when they’re home alone. Let me reiterate that point, they should be used only WHEN NEEDED!
That my friends is where my problem lies. Too many people are using them, not when needed, but because they seem to be addicted to the sound of their own voice. I have sat by numerous times, as I am sure you have, and listened to somebody rambling on and on saying nothing and saying it a lot. Personally, I spend too much time while working on the phone and I can’t wait for my day to end so I can divorce myself from it. The last thing I want to hear when out of my office is half a boring phone conversation, especially when it’s somebody I don’t know.
Sure you can say, “Bill, move away from these irritating little chatter boxes when they are annoying you” but that can be easier said than done. Sometimes you just get trapped. I can’t tell you how many times I have been in a line at the grocery store or post office when some motor mouth is dishing the latest gossip about which friend is sleeping with who or talking about how much gas Aunt Betty gets after eating radishes. I’m sorry, but I’m here to buy stamps not hear about your pathetic little life. So hold off until you get to your car before discussing the disgusting little details of your dull existence.
The only thing worse than that last scenario is if you can imagine the conversation in a language you can’t speak by a person who can’t be heard on the other end. It is a torture I can only wish on Osama Bin Laden. It is like turning on your TV only to find that it is stuck on a foreign language station and the volume is stuck on the loudest setting and you can’t turn it off. So, your only recourse is to put your foot through the screen. Unfortunately in our litigious society I think that reaction would get me sued, plus it probably wouldn’t stop them from talking on the phone anyway.
Perhaps one of the worst displays of cell phone abuse is one that I witnessed the other night while at a little league game. Let me preface this picture with the statement that when your kid is playing sports the most important thing you can do is come and watch the game to show them your support. Even if their team is behind in the score you, as a parent, still need to be involved in the game no matter how painful you personally may find it. As a parent, you may not think your kid notices, but they do.
So after our team had a first inning in hell, one of the fathers proceeded to get on his cell phone. At first it appeared to be a business call, but soon the conversation changed and it was almost as though he was stretching for things to talk about so he didn’t have to pay attention to the game.
This went on for 40 minutes and unbeknownst to him our team was actually catching up and really making a game of it. Also, unfortunately for him, he didn’t witness the two displays of poor sportsmanship that got his son benched. So after he ran out of things to say on the phone, he goes to the bench to find out why his son was sitting out. Obviously he didn’t hear what had happened and then he acted like his son was being victimized, which couldn’t have been further from the truth. Hmm, well maybe next time he should pay more attention to what’s happening on the field. Maybe then he could have talked with his son after the first incident occurred thus preventing the second and his son’s subsequent benching.
I know I’m getting old and my memory may be fading, but I can’t remember anything even remotely close to that happening when I was playing little league. I think I should check with my mom and dad just to be sure.
What’s your cell phone number? I’ll call you back.
The Shrub Speaks: There is no doubt in my mind that this country cannot achieve any objective we put our mind to. Buffalo, New York, Apr. 20, 2004
B.D.’s response: Can, cannot, what’s a verb between friends?
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