|
There are times when I feel like Don Quixote fighting the windmill. I am sure many of you have felt the same way when having to deal with the insurmountable odds of getting through all the bureaucratic bullshit when dealing with big business.
It can be any place that makes you feel as though your problem doesn’t matter and that your time is theirs to waste. City Hall, Edison, the phone company, or my personal nemesis, the TV cable company. At this point in time the Professor Moriarty to my Sherlock Holmes is Charter Communications. A more devious foe would be hard to find, especially when you are having a problem.
We have had many an adventure through the years even when he went by different names. It was always a battle of wills. Me, with a problem needing to be addressed and taken care of, and he and his army, trying their best to waste as much of my time as possible in hopes of me giving up and going away. This has happened in the past when my will and determination were weak. Nowadays that is not the case and my resolve is firm. This battle will go on until my problem is solved or one of us dies in the process.
I know that there are many of you who claim not to watch much TV or in some cases none at all. That may work for you but in this age of danger and information I prefer to stay close to home and have my information by CNN. So the presence of cable TV is mandatory in my world as it is to the rest of my family.
For years I was happy with what is called “basic cable.” In one of Moriarty’s most evil schemes he convinced the masses that they had no choice in switching their cable boxes to the over-hyped Digital Box. In what equates to mass extortion, if you wanted to have access to any of the pay channels, i.e.; HBO, Showtime, or any of the Pay Per View channels, you had to switch. When the Professor puts his mind to it he can be extremely diabolical.
In our last go around he wore me down and won the battle. Not feeling up to the task I backed off and decided to regroup for our next battle and that time has come. When I first had my wonderful digital cable installed certain channels, 2,4,7 11, 13, Food TV, FX and CMT never came in quite clear. The Professor sent one of his tech henchmen over, and while it was a little clearer, it still wasn’t the same reception as the rest of the channels. After talking to other people in the area who had the same system and found that they experienced the same problem, I decided this was not just my problem that it was something that affected the entire area. So I settled. Which of course is what he wanted. Round to Moriarty.
I lived with this problem for over a year and a half until the last couple of weeks when the picture on the aforementioned channels was virtually unwatchable. Within that time, a friend of mine, Dermot, served as my Dr. Watson when watching my TV. He told me he had a similar problem and replacing the cable solved it. He counseled me that I had settled too long and it was time to fight. It came to a head last Monday night when my wonder box couldn’t handle the bad reception anymore and all of the bad channels went black. It was time to confront Moriarity once again.
So the battle began. As always, I had to confront him at his first line of defense, the phone lines. Here he has an army of poorly trained individuals with low IQ’s that you would think you could penetrate easily. Unfortunately, their stupidity level makes it virtually impossible for you to make them understand the problem at hand. Moriarity may script this because they answer all questions in the same fashion using the same rhetoric.
I know this because during round one I had the torturous experience of talking to five of them. I listened to them citing company policy and telling me why they couldn’t do things. I was put on hold for half an hour at a time. They were doing their best to wear me down, but not this time. I was going to see my mission to the bitter end. I will not settle for anything less than what they promise in all of their ads, a crystal clear picture on ALL channels.
Deep inside me, I finally found the secret words that got me passed this barricade, “Let me speak to your supervisor.” It was like I found a secret passageway to the next level of his infrastructure. I thought that I was home free and that I may win this battle. This guy seemed like he really wanted to help me after hearing my tale of woe, he made me think he was setting up a “same day” appointment. He gave me his first and last name and told me to call him there at the Irwindale compound if I had any problems. I felt as though I was penetrating the evil empire and would find the key to my cable happiness. Oh, how sneaky he was.
My jubilation was premature because my same day appointment was not to be. After waiting for four hours I called back and began another round of being put on hold. The torture of repeating the chain of events that I had repeated numerous times earlier in the day began yet again. I needed to step back and regroup and resume my fight in the morning.
My supervisor in Irwindale neglected to tell me the secret to getting to him. He made it sound so easy, just call in and ask for him by name and he would take care of things. I should have known better. Moriarty is always veiled in secrets and his next tricks were particularly devious. Unlike the day before when I called in and asked for my supervisor the person on the other end of the line had no idea who he was.
After a few more questions I discovered another of Moriarty’s illusions. While I thought I was talking to someone in Irwindale, California, I was actually talking to someone in Ottawa, Canada. So I hung up and called back and after going through the same thing I was shocked to find out that this time I was talking to someone in Orlando, Florida. Oh this big business criminal was a crafty one. Damn you Moriarty!
After another hour on hold I finally found my illusive Irwindale supervisor who apologized for the inconvenience and told me that the soonest that I could expect to see somebody was this Saturday. Again, they are trying to wear me down, but I am ready for you this time. I have waited this long and this time I will not give up until I am satisfied.
Bring it on Moriarty; I will be waiting for you on Saturday….
To be continued…………..
The Shrub Speaks: We know that dictators are quick to choose aggression, while free nations strive to resolve differences in peace. Address to U.N. General Assembly, Sep. 21, 2004
B.D.’s Response: This is why this Country cannot afford to have you as the President for the next 4 years. You talk the talk, but don’t walk the walk.
|
