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It’s that time of year! The kids are getting out of school, you start thinking about a vacation, and you start barbequing every meal. It is also that time of year when attempting to find something decent to watch on television becomes an almost insurmountable task.
When, what the television world calls “May Sweeps” ends, it’s as though all of the creative minds in the television world go into hibernation and are replaced by a group of talentless baboons. Unfortunately for us, the viewing public, these baboons are the ones with the power and they hold us hostage by producing a mountain of terrible shows until the summer is over. It is a true crap-a-thon.
Sure, you could use this time to catch up on your reading, or watching movies, but in the never-ending chaos that erupts in the evenings, this is not always practical. I have TVs placed strategically around the house so I can multi-task. This way I can get things done around the house while watching network shows. I can move from room to room and not miss anything. If I have to sit down and watch a DVD I can’t get anything else done. Being the creature of habit that I am, when my routine is disrupted, it seems to throw me out of kilter.
So I have to ask, what are the people who work at the networks in the summer thinking? What they are broadcasting are some of the worst concepts that I have ever seen. Is anyone who is an avid television viewer, besides me, astounded at the fact that the show Big Brother is back for a 6th time? After having watched part of its first season, I thought it would have been its last.
But that’s how it has been in the last few years with this glut of “reality” shows. I don’t know whose reality it is, but it certainly is not mine, and I bet, not yours. For some reason, it’s as though as soon as summer approaches they think the viewing public is not interested in watching quality dramas and comedies. The programmers are obviously the same people who slow down to look at accidents on the freeway.
Which brings me to the first car wreck of a show “Being Bobby Brown.” Of all of the “celebrities” or “has been celebrities” to choose from, this has to be one of the worst choices. I could be wrong, but if Bobby Brown still has any fans left, they have to be few and far between. The only thing he has been famous for in recent years is for being married to Whitney Houston and getting arrested, a lot. If there was ever a life that I didn’t want a closer view of, it’s his.
That is, of course, if you don’t take into consideration Britney Spears. A few years ago I probably would have said hell yeah, I can watch a half an hour of Britney. But this program, “Britney and Kevin,” which also stars her new husband Kevin, is another train wreck. I don’t know what her PR people were thinking when they let her do this show, but this could really scuttle her career, if it hasn’t already.
She has been the queen of unflattering tabloid fodder for a couple of years now but fortunately for her, what we saw was pictures, and we didn’t have to listen to her speak. Now that we have a soundtrack other than her music, she comes off like some kind of inbred white trash with too much money. Think The Beverly Hillbillies without the backwoods cuteness and charm. If I wanted to watch this type of behavior I would just move into a low-end trailer park.
Speaking of too much money, how does “I Want To Be A Hilton” grab you? I would rather gouge my eyes out than watch this dysfunctional family of already ridiculously rich people make more money off of their inherited names. If you don’t already know, this show does not star the infamous Paris, she of the equally bad reality show “The Simple Life,” amateur porn films, and soft-core porn burger ads. No, this show is hosted by her mother, which only goes to show that the tree stands close to where the rotten apple falls. The last thing I want to watch is a group of people compete by trying to act like Paris and her clan.
Oh my God! As I am writing this, Entertainment Tonight just showed a preview for another new reality show starring Motley Crue drummer Tommy Lee, which they are calling “Tommy Lee Goes To College.” I think this could mark the end of civilization as we know it.
One of the scary things for me about this viewing drought is that it makes it hard to veto the myriad of home improvement shows that my wife is addicted to. You have to get creative and start delving deep into that TV Guide in order to find something better to watch. It is impossible to convince her not to watch a new episode of “Design On A Dime” when the only thing appealing on is a repeat of the “2003 World Poker Tour.” Some nights it’s as though I can hear Bruce
Springsteen’s song “57 Channels And Nothing On” playing in my head as I get to the end of the evening’s TV listings.
If you look hard enough, and are lucky enough to have cable, occasionally you will find a gem out there. Just this last week a show began it’s second season on the f/x channel starring acidic comic and actor Denis Leary. It is an awesome adult dramady called “Rescue Me” about a troubled New York City firefighter. This show eclipses most of what is on television no matter what time of year it is.
Unfortunately, it only airs one new episode a week, which is not enough to rescue me.
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