|
One thing about living in a small community like Temple City is that you are continually running into or seeing people that you know. This is especially true if you have kids who have come up through the local school system. If you and your kids were active in any other types of
activities like youth sports, multiply that number by ten.
Most of the time it is not that you have developed any type of a relationship with all of these people that you have come in contact with, but you know each other by sight. This makes for some interesting shopping experiences, particularly when you don’t know the name, but recognize the face. If eye contact is made, generally you both do the doggie head tilt, smile, and say hi. Then you spend the next few hours trying to remember where you know them from.
Many here like to tout the “hometown” feel as one of the reasons that they gravitated to this area to begin with or choose to remain. But as this town grows with 10 condos replacing a single family home there are more faces you have to weed through before you see a familiar one. They are still there, but harder to see.
As time has gone by and the kids have gotten older, when I do see someone I was friendly with back in the day, I usually play catch up on the things that drew us together to begin with. This was the case the other day when I was shopping at Home Depot. I ran into a friend from our little league days named Zax.
Our sons, both named Alex, had known each other since grammar school and used to hang out together quite a bit. They both ended up playing baseball together and during one season they played on the same team with Zax as the manager and me helping as a coach. This, as anyone who has had any involvement in little league will tell you, can be a recipe for disaster if you are friends.
While Zax and I had our differences about coaching, time and our kid’s changing groups of friends are what really kept us from talking as much as we did in the past. So we seized this brief opportunity to play catch up. As we stood there surrounded by ropes, chains, and mounting hardware, we talked about our families, work, and the many changes that had occurred since our kids were younger. Soon the inevitable topic of sports came up.
Our boys are now both freshmen in high school. At the start of the school year they played different sports but now they will be coming together again soon on the baseball field. Even though Zax had already had his first taste of what sports in high school was like, I tried to give him a little more insight as to what to expect. Having an older daughter involved in sports I had a few more experiences to draw upon and was glad to share with him what I had learned so far.
Before we parted ways we briefly reflected on our past in little league. Both of our families were heavily involved as volunteers in our time there. He had started the Winter League program and his wife Laureen ran the snack bar. My wife Stacey served four years on the executive board while I was on the board of directors doing merchandising. So as they say, we did our time and we were all too familiar with the workings of the league. On top of that, we all knew what it was like to be parents in the stands.
Then he happened to say something, that to be honest, had just crossed my mind the week before. “Remember how we would get so upset about things that would happen when we were there?” I smiled, gave him a knowing look, and nodded my head yes.
It may be hard to imagine for some parents who are still involved in little league to imagine it, but there is life after little league, it’s called high school. After that as I, and many other parents with a grip on reality have come to realize, it will be over after high school no matter what sport your child plays. For 99.9% of the high school players that will be it. No matter how much you or them want it to continue. There are very few Ryan Tucker’s out there and news flash, most of them don’t live in the San Gabriel Valley.
Back in the little league days we all, myself included, took the entire exercise far too seriously. Every game was a live or die situation. Futures and scholarships were on the line and our children would not be able to reach their optimum potential unless they played every second of every game. Nothing could be further from the truth. But in the tunnel vision of a parent, that is sometimes all you can see.
Many of us just experience these feelings internally. As a parent in the stands your stomach churning and in knots, feelings of anger and frustration, and headaches all become as much of the game as the balls and bats. But there are always that handful of parents that cannot control themselves on any level. They shout at the umpires, the managers, their own kids, and players that aren’t their kids. I didn’t understand their overzealous behavior then and now, in thinking back on some of the explosions I witnessed, understand them even less. These buffoons are the ones that you expect to see on the evening news or in the back of a police cruiser.
Luckily, by the time high school rolls around most of these clowns are gone. Their kids have either given up on sports or are so embarrassed by their parents’ behavior, they quit. For whatever reason, the pool of players is usually drastically reduced. The cartoonish parents who do go on to high school sports quickly find out that they aren’t in Kansas anymore and their little league style outbursts will not be tolerated any longer. Sorry Dorothy.
Don’t get me wrong. Youth sports are great and there are many valuable lessons to be learned there. Not just for the kids, but for the parents as well. The bit of advice I can pass along to those of you still involved or are about to begin your journey is this: don’t take it too seriously. I know that is easier said than done, especially when you’re in the mix. I know, I’ve been there. The one thing that you should never lose sight of is that who is playing the game. Is it you or your child? Once you have answered that ask them if they are having fun. If they say yes, play ball.
If at all possible, go with the flow even when it’s not flowing your way. Keep in mind that at that stage of the game there are no scouts from the Dodgers or from USC in the stands to check out your ten year old. So when little Johnny/Jackie’s coach has him/her sit on the bench for a couple of innings, relax. He or she will play. Maybe not as much as you want them to, but they will play. Why? Because you paid for him/her to play. So trust me, they’ll play.
These are just some of the lessons that Zax and I learned in our time and that we now can look back at and smile about. We can shake our heads and think about all the wasted time and energy we expended being pissed off about one thing or another and that in the scheme of things it didn’t mean a thing. I hope Zax can keep that perspective, because while I am completely done, he and Laureen have a 4-year-old son and you know what that means.
Yep. They have one more chance at the dance. Good Luck……
|
