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As everyone in America heard this week, Dana Reeve, wife of the late Christopher Reeve, lost her battle with lung cancer. Although she put her own career on hold while she cared for her husband after he suffered a severed spinal cord ten years ago, her true fame came as a tireless supporter of him and his foundation.
I heard one woman on TV describe her as “the wife that we all wanted to be.” She used her celebrity to raise awareness about the injury that changed her and her family’s lives. We watched in awe as she stood steadfast in her dedication to her husband and her hope that new advances in the area of paralysis injuries would come in time to save him and countless others.
She unflinchingly maintained her course as we watched every news snippet that came our way in amazement at her courage and determination. Like Elisabeth Glaser before her, she was a study in poise and dignity in the face of adversity. She was not only being the wife that all women wanted to be, but also the type of person we all hope to be.
Only ten months after her Superman died, she was diagnosed with lung cancer. Those who knew her and those of us who followed her story were in disbelief. Our hearts sank at the thought that this woman, who had given so much, would not have time to live the rest of her life being able to smell the roses and recapture some of the time that she had obviously lost with their 13 year old her son, Will.
It was not to be as the battle she fought so valiantly came to an end. She was only 44 years old and had never smoked in her life, which makes her death seem unfair, if that is possible. The eulogies were quick in coming from Washington to Hollywood. Robin Williams, a close family friend, is quoted as saying “The brightest light has gone out. We will forever celebrate her loving spirit.”
We all have bright lights in our lives, and even though they may not shine on the world stage, that doesn’t make them any less bright. There are people that we come in contact with in our everyday lives that their mere presence casts that same shine on those around them.
John Sutton was one of those people, and like Dana Reeve, died way too young on February 16th at the age of 37. I met and knew John during my time in the little league world. We were not best buddies or anything, our friendship and conversations were always centered around that environment.
 In those years that we knew one another, in a situation that can be tense at times, I can honestly say that every time I saw John walking through the gate at the park I was glad to see him, which unfortunately I couldn’t say about numerous other people that walked through that gate. Maybe it’s because I knew that when we spoke that the conversation never turned into the typical bitch-a-thon that most conversations morphed into after a couple of minutes. While I always seemed to get sucked into it with others, I knew I would be safe around John.
With John, he always seemed to keep the discussions on a positive note and upbeat. Maybe it was because not only was John familiar with the current ins and outs of the league, but being 13 years younger than me, and being an excellent baseball player in his youth, he always seemed to remain very Zen about little league in our conversations. He had been there and done that and not all that long ago, then as a player and now as a parent.
John was one of the best-liked people at the league. Not just by the adults, but by the kids as well. The kids all knew John and John knew all the kids and it was a mutual admiration society. Perhaps it was his demeanor when talking to them. He talked to kids as equals, and that was a big part of his charm. He was a chameleon that easily adapted to whoever he was talking to and made them feel comfortable.
One thing that brought John and I together was our sharing of a nasty habit, smoking. With all the restrictions on us smokers, we were relegated to an area outside the fence where the view may be bad, but the conversations were always lively. John would sometimes show up at the park, even when his own son wasn’t playing, just to check up on the other kids. That was just his nature.
He would come walking up Oak Avenue and stop at the outside of the gate. Standing with me outside the fence as he finished his smoke he would ask how this kid and that kid were doing that night. After getting his update he would make his rounds through the crowd talking to everyone he knew.
He would always be there when you needed him. I think I saw John in the snack bar more than any other parent. Where most parents would do anything they could to avoid working a snack bar shift, John did his with relish. The most hated task for most was working the barbeque, flipping burgers and turning dogs, but not for John. He would don his chef’s apron with pride and man that station as though he was the head chef at Spago’s.
Last Thursday night there was a memorial service held for John and if there was ever a doubt as to how many lives he touched in his brief time with us it was erased. The joint was packed to the gills, standing room only. Having only known John in the limited capacity that I did there were many things that came to light that I didn’t know about him during the time set aside for friends and family to share their thoughts and stories.
While John and I had discussed his yearly trips to the Kern River I didn’t know what an accomplished fisherman he was. By the sounds of it, he taught everyone, friends and family, how to fish. John so loved the area that his ashes are to be spread there this summer.
The sharing would not have been complete without hearing from the youth contingency. A group of three that mustered the courage Williams Do, Isaac Moorthy, and Meagan Cullen came to the podium to speak. They all shared different aspects of what John had meant to them. During which Williams let slip the fact that John would occasionally slip him free burgers when working the grill. This prompted past president Kristen Dearth to kid that now she knew why the profits were down when John was working the grill.
The biggest bombshell came when his wife Trina shared with those gathered that John had suffered with alcohol addiction and that we should reach out to help those who suffer as well. When I had heard a couple of months ago that John was sick I was told that he was suffering from liver disease and while I should have put two and two together, I had never seen John drunk or even slightly impaired. Even on Casino Night when everyone was drinking.
Unfortunately for John and the rest of us he was all too good at hiding his addiction. Some speculate he was a closet drinker, but I am sure he had others he tipped a few with, but nobody knows for sure. Even though John was a big man some people are just more susceptible to its damaging effects and John’s body just couldn’t take it. Dana Reeve never smoked, but got lung cancer anyway.
My heart goes out to his entire family, especially those I have known and met, Trina, Angela, Justin, and Jeremy. I know that things may seem dark now, but know that you were all touched by one of those people who shined. Even though I never met Dana Reeve I count my luck stars that I had the privilege to know John. We all have our demons and sometimes they catch up with us. We just need to embrace the good memories and let the rest of it go.
I think Billy Joel said it best, “I’d rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints. The sinners are much more fun … And only the good die young.”
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