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While I am a big fan of his movies, I am not one of those people like Oliver Stone that sees a conspiracy around every corner. I know people who can find a plot against mankind in a can of soup. Not only a plot, but given time to dwell on it, can come up with some pretty convincing arguments to get you to buy into it.
Granted, there are those things that are so suspicious and have so many unanswered questions attached to them, and even so, the staunchest conservative thinkers still say “What?” You know the ones that I am talking about, the ones that even when given a mountain of photo documentation and eyewitness accounts say, “that’s not real, they did it with strings.”
It is not always done with strings, nor is it just because the timing just happened to be right. There are things that are just too coincidental that to simply dismiss it with the standard flippant asides, that are the trademark of the narrow minded, doesn’t work.
For example, and in this instance I agree with Stone and I don’t care what the Warren Commission findings are, Lee Harvey Oswald did not act alone. No single bullet could do (I am referring to the “Magic Bullet Theory” here) what they say it could do. Nor could somebody of Oswald’s spotty and questionable military background pull off the multiple shots fired with a single shot rifle posed in theory two. It just doesn’t add up.
If you don’t agree with that, what is your stance on Area 51? For those of you who missed the 1996 movie “Independence Day” or are not familiar with one of the great American legends of the last 50 years, please let me enlighten you.
To the unknowing passer by and to the naked eye it is a 60 square mile piece of land in Lincoln County, Nevada owned by the United States Air Force. It is part of what is officially called the Nevada Test and Training Range (NTTR). According to the United States Government, Area 51 doesn’t exist.
According to many conspiracy theorists Area 51 not only exists, despite the government denials, it is also the base of many covert extraterrestrial research programs, that’s UFO’s to us. Despite attempts by many people to find out what is going on behind the heavily guarded gates they have been met with secrecy and more denials. Both of which only fuel the flames of suspicion and have helped build the legend to epic proportions.
Over the years, the accusations of what is being done at Area 51 has grown to include the following; (1) the storage, examination, and reverse engineering of alien spacecraft and their occupants, living and dead, and the manufacturing of spacecraft based on alien technology; (2) meetings and joint undertakings with extraterrestrials; (3) the development of exotic weapons and weather control; and (4) the truly Sci-Fi conspiracy theory of developing a shadowy one-world government. Whew, even for someone as open minded as me that is a lot to swallow.
When you look at the things that are in place at the non-existent Area 51, theory number one it isn’t that much of a stretch. Things like airplane runways that are painted camouflage that only become visible when wet down, or the fact that the mountains surrounding the facility are patrolled by camouflaged vehicles that are manned by armed plain-clothes security forces. Maybe it is the signs that are posted at the gates, that is if you were ever to get to the gates, which read “photography is prohibited” and “use of deadly force is authorized”.
So where would the good folks at Area 51 get an alien spacecraft to examine and work on? At the home of another major bone of conspiracy just down the road in Roswell, New Mexico. You see, back in 1947, there was another conspiracy/cover up that happened there, when according to the police, citizens, and local newspapers, a spacecraft crashed there.
Of course, like anything out of the ordinary that happens, a couple of days later all of the evidence and witnesses disappeared. Almost by magic, the “spacecraft” turned into a weather balloon. The public bought it, being a much simpler and gullible time, and except for the town of Roswell, it was forgotten, for a while.
As time went on more people began to look into what happened back in 1947. By the 1990’s the Roswell story grew both in interest and more fervent denials by all government agencies involved. In the meantime, the town of Roswell developed quite the little cottage industry based around aliens, as did the areas surrounding Area 51. In 1996, the Nevada State Government, not one to shy away from a publicity opportunity, renamed the adjacent highway (Route 375) “The Extraterrestrial Highway”.
These are only a couple of the more popular conspiracies that are out there. Trust me when I say that I could literally fill this paper with wild and varied theories. I thank god that I have never allowed my picture to accompany this article. As it is, there are too many people who know who I am, and it seems that a lot of them have conspiracy theories that they want me to write about.
Twice in as many weeks while I have been shopping, I was approached by people who had agendas wrapped around conspiracy theories. One about the war and one about a cover up concerning a local congressman who was recently…well it doesn’t matter I respectfully refused their requests or should I say in one case his demands.
Both individuals stood there making their cases and basically trying to write my column for me. To be honest, their earth shattering conspiracies were as old news as Area 51 and Roswell, but nowhere near as interesting. I might as well have written on Cruz Bustamante losing weight in order to get a better deal on his health insurance.
There have been a couple of new theories that I have caught wind of lately, but they have a way to go before they build any speed or any sort of validity. Both have the potential if anything can be proved or even remotely proved.
One is that the recent decline in gas prices is the work of Dubya and his oil company buddies who are attempting to woo voters over to the Republican side before the election. The proponents of this theory all say wait until the election is over and watch the prices go back up.
They claim that the cries of “the demand is going back up” will be used to defend the increase. We won’t have long to wait to see if there is anything to this with the election so close. To be honest, I doubt that Dubya has anything to do with it, he’s not that smart. It was probably Cheney’s idea.
The other one concerns all the recent outbreaks of salmonella in the spinach and lettuce crops. The people who are talking about this one claim that it is a terrorist act using some kind of germ warfare. This one, I don’t know if I can really buy into on any level. I think that if we were to be the victims of any sort of germ warfare the terrorists would go for the water supply, not our salad supply.
That is unless they are targeting just the healthiest Americans, the salad eating ones, thinking that the rest of us won’t be able to defend ourselves being overweight and all. If they want to poison a lot of people at once and not go for the water supply, they should try slipping it into all of the deep fryers at fast food restaurants. I wouldn’t worry about it though, Osama is not that smart either.
We all have conspiracy theories that that we ascribe to, we just have to pick which ones are nearest and dearest to us. After all, as the old saying goes, conspiracies are like…
uh… lets see… excuses… that’s it! Everybody’s got one.
Except maybe the aliens.
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