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For the last few weeks I have been witnessing a phenomenon that is unique, well at least unique to me. It’s had me thinking about my youth and what it was like to drive around the San Gabriel Valley way back then.
I am one of those individuals, when given my druthers, that likes to stay up late, really late. For many years I was going to bed as others were getting up in the morning hours. Yes I was, and to a certain extent still, a vampire. I don’t know how it happened, maybe I was bitten in the neck in my sleep one night, but it just worked out that way. As disco diva Alicia Bridges once sang, I love the nightlife.
 Just so we are clear here, that doesn’t mean that I am running around town during those wee hours of the morning. Quite the contrary. As much as I am a vampire, I am also a homebody. So even though I’m up, I just haunt the halls of my castle, and life is good.
That was until a stake was driven through my heart by the game that my son Alex has embraced over the last couple of years, Football. Unbeknownst to me, when you reach the varsity level, things change dramatically. One of those things would be that my time as one of the children of the night would be coming to a quick end. At least from Monday until Thursday.
On those days I am getting up at 5:00 AM to take Alex to his morning practice. This time of day and the goings on outside of my house was totally alien to me. As this routine has progressed, I have begun to notice something that has been missing in my life for many years. The ability to go from point A to point B without cursing the entire distance.
Having been a resident in the SGV for my entire life I began to remember that this was actually the way it used to be. And I am not just talking about in the wee hours of the morning. Back in the day the roads were always clear. Short of driving on the freeway, cruising Valley, Whittier, or Colorado Boulevards on a Friday or Saturday night, traffic in this valley was unheard of.
After the first week of this early morning driving, when my mind wasn’t so full of cobwebs, is when I started looking around at the streets beyond the ones I was on. It was like I had stepped back in time. There were so few cars that I could actually count them and nobody was right on top of one another. I was amazed at the fact that I was really doing the posted speed limit on Rosemead Boulevard the entire time I was on it. Had I died and gone to heaven?
The traffic in this entire valley in the last couple of decades has become so unbearable that I feel as though I have to plan every venture out. I plan out, based on what time of day it is, how to take the most strategic route in order to avoid the areas that are usually clogged. After driving the streets of this valley for 36 years I know the back streets and sneaky little short cuts that newer residents and drivers don’t. Trust me when I say I am using the term “drivers” very loosely.
Even with my drive planned out, I can never account for the stupidity factor of the majority of drivers here in the SGV. It never fails that while taking one of these tried and true short cuts, some zombie, who obviously doesn’t know where they are, has veered off of the main thorough fair and is driving at a fraction of the speed limit.
Of course they are on their cell phone, seeking help from sources unknown, to get them back to wherever the hell they came from. This of course means that they are not paying any attention to what is going on behind them and at the traffic jam they are causing. It’s too bad that the law taking effect in July 2008, prohibiting the use of hand held cell phones, doesn’t prohibit using them all together. Obviously there are far too many drivers here that can’t chew gum and walk at the same time.
So after seeing the clear streets at this early part of the day, I decided to explore this new world further. Instead of doing my shopping later in the day, like I was used to doing, let’s see what it is like to shop early in the day. I mean what the hell, I am up anyway, so why not.
Low and behold, again it was like I had stepped into a time machine. What’s this, numerous parking spaces available? Oh be still my heart. This was just too good to be true. I really didn’t have to circle the parking lot numerous times in order to find a decent spot? Or park so far away that I would have to pack a lunch? My shock at the good spot that I had found had me toying with the idea of just leaving my car there and walking home.
Once in the store, again I was shaking my head in disbelief. Where were all the throngs of people that I usually have to navigate around and fight with? Wait a minute, what’s this, no lines? Oh my god, it is as if I have discovered a whole new world. This is what it was like back in the olden times, you know back in the seventies and eighties. I probably shouldn’t mention this to anybody, otherwise everybody will want to . . . uh oh, too late.
If I start shopping like this all of the time I won’t be as angry and stressed out as I generally am. That means I will be cutting off a whole lot of what I complain about in this column. I might have to start writing about more positive things, like butterflies and puppy dogs. Hmmm, do I really want to go there?
Well if I need inspiration I think one 5PM shopping trip to Sam’s Club or Costco ought to get those fangs to pop out.
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